{"id":21006,"date":"2026-11-07T00:11:20","date_gmt":"2026-11-06T23:11:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/"},"modified":"2026-11-07T00:11:21","modified_gmt":"2026-11-06T23:11:21","slug":"la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/","title":{"rendered":"La pubert\u00e9 n&rsquo;est pas le probl\u00e8me, ce sont les parents qui le sont."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--$--><br \/>\n<!--\/--><br \/>\n<!--$--><\/p>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Presque tout le monde a un souvenir douloureux de son adolescence : le regard agac\u00e9 d&rsquo;un parent, la phrase \u00ab Tu es assez grand, tu peux le faire tout seul \u00bb, le sentiment d&rsquo;\u00eatre compl\u00e8tement seul avec son propre chaos int\u00e9rieur. Ces souvenirs disparaissent rarement d\u2019eux-m\u00eames et peuvent devenir un d\u00e9fi lorsque les parents accompagnent leur enfant jusqu\u2019\u00e0 la pubert\u00e9.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-qa-article-reusable-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block Article-ReusableText \">\n<div>\n<p>Kathy Weber est consultante parentale, trois fois auteure \u00e0 succ\u00e8s du SPIEGEL et animatrice du podcast parental \u00ab Family Understanding \u00bb. Elle fait partie de notre r\u00e9seau d&rsquo;experts EXPERTS Circle.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Vivre avec des adolescents devient particuli\u00e8rement difficile si les parents n\u2019ont jamais r\u00e9fl\u00e9chi \u00e0 leur propre jeunesse. Quiconque tente sa chance maintenant et ose regarder en arri\u00e8re changera automatiquement la fa\u00e7on dont il per\u00e7oit son propre adolescent.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-hor Ad-Slot-FC\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Container \" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Window\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-hor-2\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"2\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<h2>Regarder en arri\u00e8re change notre fa\u00e7on de regarder vers l&rsquo;avant<\/h2>\n<p>J&rsquo;ai grandi dans une famille o\u00f9 l&rsquo;affection \u00e9tait li\u00e9e \u00e0 la performance. Si je me comportais diff\u00e9remment de ce qu&rsquo;on attendait de moi, mon p\u00e8re se retirait et ne me parlait souvent pas pendant des jours. Ma m\u00e8re a tent\u00e9 une m\u00e9diation en me poussant \u00e0 m&rsquo;excuser aupr\u00e8s de mon p\u00e8re. En plus de cela, j\u2019ai \u00e9t\u00e9 victime d\u2019intimidation \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9cole \u2013 il y avait m\u00eame un \u00ab fan club anti-Katharina \u00bb \u2013 et ni les professeurs ni les parents ne m\u2019ont soutenu. Du coup, ma pubert\u00e9 a \u00e9t\u00e9 marqu\u00e9e par la solitude. Je devais simplement fonctionner, sans drame, sans \u00e9motions fortes et sans environnement s\u00fbr dans lequel je pouvais essayer des choses.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-out\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-out-1\" data-orientation=\"out\" data-index=\"1\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\"><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div class=\"Ad-Carousel mb-xl row \" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div class=\"col-lg-4\">\n<div data-qa-ad-slot=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-desktop Ad-Slot-ver \" role=\"region\" aria-label=\"Anzeige 1\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-desktop-ver-1\" data-orientation=\"ver\" data-index=\"1\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"desktop\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"col-lg-4\">\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-desktop Ad-Slot-ver Ad-Slot-FC\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Container \" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Window\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-desktop-ver-2\" data-orientation=\"ver\" data-index=\"2\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"desktop\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"col-lg-4\">\n<div data-qa-ad-slot=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-desktop Ad-Slot-ver \" role=\"region\" aria-label=\"Anzeige 3\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-desktop-ver-3\" data-orientation=\"ver\" data-index=\"3\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"desktop\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Aujourd\u2019hui, je sais que ce qui me manquait \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9poque, c\u2019\u00e9tait avant tout le respect. Je n\u2019ai jamais connu l\u2019amour et la loyaut\u00e9 inconditionnels de mes parents ni le sentiment de pouvoir \u00eatre qui je suis. Cette prise de conscience a \u00e9t\u00e9 \u00e0 la fois une incitation et une aide \u00e0 aborder mon propre fils diff\u00e9remment pendant la pubert\u00e9, et je voudrais \u00e9galement vous inviter \u00e0 repenser \u00e0 votre jeunesse : quels sentiments aviez-vous le droit d&rsquo;exprimer en tant qu&rsquo;adolescent ? Comment avez-vous \u00e9t\u00e9 trait\u00e9 ? Qu\u2019est-ce qu\u2019on attendait de vous ?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-hor\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-hor-3\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"3\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\"><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Si vous regardez honn\u00eatement, vous verrez que ce sont les attentes \u00e9lev\u00e9es, les jugements n\u00e9gatifs des autres et le sentiment d&rsquo;\u00eatre laiss\u00e9 seul qui vous ont fait tant de mal pendant votre propre pubert\u00e9 &#8211; votre propre comportement n&rsquo;y est pour rien.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<h2>Ce que signifient r\u00e9ellement le retrait, le jeu et le silence<\/h2>\n<p>Alors, qu\u2019est-ce que cela signifie pour votre propre enfant adolescent\u00a0? Dans mon concept, la responsabilit\u00e9 parentale est divis\u00e9e en quatre domaines que traversent les enfants : les soins, l&rsquo;orientation, l&rsquo;amour et le respect. Les adolescents sont dans la phase finale d&rsquo;autonomie (\u00e0 partir de 9 ans environ), dans laquelle le respect parental est particuli\u00e8rement important. Dans cette phase, ils testent qui ils sont vraiment, veulent acqu\u00e9rir eux-m\u00eames de l\u2019exp\u00e9rience et pour ce faire, ils ont besoin de parents qui leur disent : \u00ab Je te soutiens, quoi que tu fasses. \u00bb<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-hor\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-hor-4\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"4\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\"><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Si un adolescent se retire, dispara\u00eet dans la pi\u00e8ce pendant des heures ou ne r\u00e9pond que par monosyllabes, de nombreux parents interpr\u00e8tent cela comme un rejet. Ils sont en col\u00e8re (\u00ab Tu ne te comportes pas comme \u00e7a ! \u00bb) ou d\u00e9\u00e7us (\u00ab Je ne t\u2019ai pas \u00e9lev\u00e9 comme \u00e7a ! \u00bb). Cependant, derri\u00e8re le comportement des adolescents se cache souvent un appel compl\u00e8tement diff\u00e9rent : \u00ab Est-ce que je fais toujours partie de cette communaut\u00e9 ? Ai-je le droit d&rsquo;\u00eatre qui je suis ? M\u00eame des heures de jeu racontent souvent une histoire d\u2019appr\u00e9ciation, d\u2019individualit\u00e9 et de respect, ce qui est pr\u00e9cis\u00e9ment ce que les adolescents recherchent et trouvent dans un jeu.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-hor\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-hor-5\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"5\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\"><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-desktop Ad-Slot-hor Ad-Slot-FC\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Container \" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<div class=\"Ad-Slot-FC-Window\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-desktop-hor-2\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"2\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"desktop\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<h2>Pr\u00e9sence au lieu de condamnation<\/h2>\n<p>Au lieu de demander : \u00ab Comment puis-je arr\u00eater ce comportement ? \u00bb, il vaut la peine de se demander : \u00ab \u00c0 quel besoin mon enfant essaie-t-il de r\u00e9pondre en ce moment ? \u00bb Un exemple tir\u00e9 de ma propre famille\u00a0: lorsque mon fils s&rsquo;est renferm\u00e9 et que j&rsquo;ai eu l&rsquo;impression d&rsquo;\u00eatre ignor\u00e9, j&rsquo;ai demand\u00e9\u00a0: \u00ab\u00a0Je remarque que tu passes beaucoup de temps seul en ce moment. Pourrais-tu me dire ce qui se passe chez toi\u00a0?\u00a0\u00bb Au lieu de l\u2019accuser de quelque chose ou de lui faire des attentes, je m\u2019enquiers simplement avec un r\u00e9el int\u00e9r\u00eat.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<aside data-qa-ad-slot class=\"Ad-Slot Ad-Slot-mobile Ad-Slot-hor\">\n<div id=\"ad-slot-mobile-hor-6\" data-orientation=\"hor\" data-index=\"6\" data-slot=\"ad-slot\" data-device=\"mobile\" data-nosnippet=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\"><\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<div data-qa-article-content-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" data-text-milestone-block=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block \">\n<p>Cette attitude donne aux adolescents ce dont ils ont besoin dans cette phase : l&rsquo;espace pour acqu\u00e9rir de l&rsquo;exp\u00e9rience, parfois se heurter au mur, et n\u00e9anmoins \u00eatre aim\u00e9s. Ils veulent des gens autour d\u2019eux qui soient pr\u00e9sents sans les juger. Les parents qui reconnaissent ce d\u00e9sir &#8211; et r\u00e9fl\u00e9chissent peut-\u00eatre \u00e0 leur propre jeunesse &#8211; maintiennent le lien avec leur enfant que beaucoup perdent pendant la pubert\u00e9. Le facteur d\u00e9cisif est la volont\u00e9 de regarder et d&rsquo;\u00eatre l\u00e0 sans condition pour l&rsquo;adolescent.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div data-qa-article-cwc-widget class=\"Article-CwcWidget\">\n<div class=\"CwcWidget-Wrapper mb-xl\" data-qa-cwc-widget><!--!$e1--><\/p>\n<div id=\"isl-7-cmb75nj51s\" data-island=\"ezq25bxfe8\">\n<section data-hk=\"000\" class=\"Boost-List\" data-qa-boost-list><!--$--><\/p>\n<h2 data-hk=\"0010\" class=\"caps primary mb-sm\" data-qa-boost-list-title>Recommandation de livre (publicit\u00e9)<\/h2>\n<p><!--\/--><!--$--><!--\/--><!--$--><\/p>\n<ul data-hk=\"00300\" class=\"RUC-List RUC-List--Theme-Brand RUC-List--Spacing-SM \" data-qa-boost-list-items=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\">\n<li data-hk=\"0030200\" class=\"\">\n<article data-hk=\"00302010\" class=\"Boost-List-Article \" data-qa-boost-list-article><!--$--><!--\/--><!--$--><\/p>\n<figure data-hk=\"0030201201\" class=\"Boost-List-Article-Figure\"><!--$--><!--\/--><!--$--><\/p>\n<div data-hk=\"00302012030000\" data-qa-image-container class=\"Image-Container aspect-ratio-box aspect-4-3\"><\/div>\n<p><!--\/--><!--$--><figcaption data-hk=\"00302012040\">\n<p data-hk=\"00302012000\" class=\"Image-Credit mt-xs mb-0\">Source des images\u00a0: <!--$-->Kathy Weber<!--\/--><\/p>\n<\/figcaption><!--\/--><\/figure>\n<p><!--\/--><\/p>\n<div class=\"Boost-List-Article-Header\">\n<p class=\"unified-headline-sm mb-sm\" data-qa-boost-list-article-title>Recommandation de livre (publicit\u00e9)<\/p>\n<p><!--$--><\/p>\n<div data-hk=\"0030201300\" data-qa-boost-list-article-text=\"https:\/\/www.focus.de\/familie\/true\" class=\"Html-Block unified-text-base mb-xs \">\n<p>\u00ab\u00a0Je fais ce que je veux ! Le manuel pour les parents qui veulent comprendre leurs adolescents\u00a0\u00bb par Kathy Weber.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--\/--><!--$--><!--\/--><\/div>\n<p><!--$--><!--\/--><\/article>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><!--\/--><\/section>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--!$\/e1--><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--\/--><br \/>\n<!--$--><br \/>\n<!--\/--><br \/>\n<!--$--><br \/>\n<!--\/--><br \/>\n<!--$--><br \/>\n<!--\/--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Presque tout le monde a un souvenir douloureux de son adolescence : le regard agac\u00e9<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21007,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[117],"tags":[49,1485,275,359,598,9683,193,62],"class_list":["post-21006","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parentalite-enfance","tag-les","tag-nest","tag-parents","tag-pas","tag-probleme","tag-puberte","tag-qui","tag-sont","generate-columns","tablet-grid-50","mobile-grid-100","grid-parent","grid-50","resize-featured-image"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>La pubert\u00e9 n&#039;est pas le probl\u00e8me, ce sont les parents qui le sont. - RVH-Synergie.org<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"La pubert\u00e9 n&#039;est pas le probl\u00e8me, ce sont les parents qui le sont. - RVH-Synergie.org\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Presque tout le monde a un souvenir douloureux de son adolescence : le regard agac\u00e9\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"RVH-Synergie\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-11-06T23:11:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-11-06T23:11:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/11\/La-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents.jpeg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1200\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"630\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Charles Martinez\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Charles Martinez\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Charles Martinez\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/#\/schema\/person\/6affb9c7fc596daaea315c8c28318135\"},\"headline\":\"La pubert\u00e9 n&rsquo;est pas le probl\u00e8me, ce sont les parents qui le sont.\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-11-06T23:11:20+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-11-06T23:11:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/\"},\"wordCount\":889,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/la-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents-qui-le-sont\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/rvh-synergie.org\/actualites\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/11\/La-puberte-nest-pas-le-probleme-ce-sont-les-parents.jpeg\",\"keywords\":[\"Les\",\"nest\",\"parents\",\"pas\",\"probl\u00e8me\",\"pubert\u00e9\",\"qui\",\"sont\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parentalit\u00e9 &amp; 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